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If you ask me what kind of music I listen to, I will tell you, “Oh, I listen to a bit of everything,” but only because admitting I listen to Imagine Dragons or AJR used to earn me the label of “weird” instantly. I learned quickly that honest expression invites judgment. When people told me I looked tired or that my clothes were strange, I didn’t defend myself. I just bought more makeup and a new wardrobe because that was the easiest thing to do.

And it worked. The criticism stopped coming because compliments took their place in conversation. But while creating this front provided a comforting illusion of acceptance, what my peers couldn’t see was the spark inside fading.

This everyday performance is called masking.

While society demands we suppress our true selves to avoid judgment, masking comes at a devastating cost to our mental health. To break this cycle, we must stop the judgment of others and replace the demand for a fake front with the acceptance of others' feelings.

But the compulsion to hide who we are isn’t a personal failing; it’s a direct, calculated response to a society that constantly punished our authentic selves. What starts as a quick fix to avoid being called “weird” soon turns into a draining daily requirement. Psychological research shows that this performance is far from harmless.

They explain that “people mask more because they receive negative feedback when they show their authentic selves,” and this habit causes chronic stress and completely severs our connection to our true feelings, suffocating them (Simply Psychology). A 2025 study of 9,400 participants identified emotion suppression as one of the strongest factors connected to burnout and depression, proving this claim (Choi).

When we hide our feelings, we aren’t failing on a personal level. We are simply reacting to external expectations. The urge to suppress our emotions is heavily dictated by society’s rigid norms, rather than any individual weakness (Gross).

It is societal pressure and stigma that drive this behavior; it's not our individual problem, it's a societal one. It is “public stigma [including] discrimination and stereotypes that diminish self-esteem and social participation” (Corrigan).

Diminishing self-esteem and socializing are problems; I know from firsthand experience. There are more days than I can count when I drop into my bed as soon as I step foot in my room, don't have the energy to get out of bed in the morning, or can't socialize for fun, only to keep up appearances. But these all get hidden behind the wall of compliments that is stacked like a Jenga tower.

Masking is proven to have extremely negative side effects. People face “emotional exhaustion, burnout, and a disconnect from one’s authentic self” while hiding behind a feeling of false security (PrarieCare).

By now, you probably understand that masking is damaging to mental health, but what does masking actually look like?

That's the hard part.

Masking looks different for everyone; it's hard to detect, it’s a “Swiss Army Knife of emotional strategies” (NeuroLaunch). There is suppression of emotions, “shoving everything into a closet and slamming the door shut”, surface acting, those fake laughs you do when the joke isn't even funny, and deep acting, “method acting for everyday life” (NeuroLaunch). Research involving over 1,500 workers found that constantly performing acceptable emotions, surface acting, was directly linked to emotional exhaustion and burnout (Kim).

Some might look at this “Swiss Army Knife” of strategies and argue that using them is necessary, and you just need to suck it up. They claim that putting on a good face and keeping control of your emotions is required to maintain professionalism and function in society.

Although there are moments where shallow regulation of emotions keeps society civil and functioning, like being polite to your boss, complete suppression demanded by current social norms is unsustainable, and it's a cycle we need to break.

But science proves this fortitude is a trap. Studies show that individuals who habitually suppress their emotions end up with a “pervasive and fundamentally troubled sense of well-being” (Gross). We are not being professional; we are just making ourselves miserable.

If maintaining this fake front is destroying our well-being, then the solution isn’t to build better masks; it's to stop demanding them in the first place.

It’s time to be better, to be the ones who break the stigma. Every time we judge someone for their clothes, music, or honest emotions, we are handing them a mask and forcing them to wear it. We need to be the ones creating space where people feel safe enough to be honest.

I don't want to drop into my bed exhausted anymore. I just want to walk out my door and feel like society is on my side, the real me’s side.

This Article was edited by Head Editor Yusuf Eltom